


Please Don't Go

by la_haine_pacifique



Series: Hanahaki Disease - Happy Endings [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Florist!Hinata, Hanahaki Disease, I feel like an awful person for writing this, M/M, but I did, it's happy in the end though so there's that, time wise this is a couple years after my first one, whoooo boy this was a trip and a half
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 01:33:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/la_haine_pacifique/pseuds/la_haine_pacifique
Summary: It happens in the worst possible way for him.





	

**Author's Note:**

  * For [hipstasmatic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hipstasmatic/gifts).



It happens in the worst way possible for him. 

Hinata doesn't think he's ever been so excited in his life. He's successfully made them both dinner, the house is clean, and it's their five year anniversary. This is the day he's going to do it. Kageyama is going to walk through that door soon, Hinata is going to take his coat and lead him in, they'll have food, and Hinata is going to propose. 

It almost goes according to plan - almost. They're part way through Hinata’s homemade curry when they both blurt out that they need to talk.

Hinata motions for Kageyama to go first, his proposal can wait.

Except it can't. 

“I don't think this is going to work.”

All he can do is stare at his partner in equal parts horror and confusion. He knows those words, knows what they mean, but he doesn't understand. 

“Shouyou…”

Kageyama looks uncomfortable at this point, but he's still struggling with the words.

“Why?” is all he can think to ask at this point.

“I don't feel the same anymore. About you, about us.”

There's an air of finality in the room, and it's unfair. It's so unfair.

Hinata is still struggling to come to grips with everything, but Kageyama is standing now. He's grabbing his coat, and he's going to leave, but Hinata has to let him know. He flings the ring box at wall, narrowly missing Kageyama. He can't see through the tears, but he's fairly certain that the taller boy is staring at him, stunned.

“Shouyou-”

“Just go!”

There's no argument. He just leaves. Hinata knows he'll be back eventually, but that's okay. He won’t be here; He can't stay in this place - their place - all by himself.

There's too much of them around, too many reminders of their shared time together. 

Hinata thanks every god he knows for speed dial. He can't see his phone clearly enough to go searching for contacts, but he knows exactly where Kenma’s speed dial is at. It's number three, right after his mom and Kageyama. He’ll probably need to change that.

Kenma answers after the fourth ring.

“Shouyou?” He sounds mildly concerned, which is concerning in turn for Hinata. Kenma is never concerned - not outwardly, at least. 

This mostly just serves to make Hinata cry more. He can hear Kenma over the phone, occasionally asking him what's wrong and if he needs something. He cries for a good ten minutes before he can get the words out, but it's hard. 

They stick in his throat, threatening to choke him. He gets it out, though. He knows Kenma can probably guess - he helped pick the rings, after all - but he figures he has to do it. Soon enough Kenma knows about just how much effort Hinata put into today, and how he hadn't even gotten his chance to propose. Kageyama had sat down and had his food, the same way he always did. Everything had been fine until it wasn't. 

“I need a place to stay,” he tells Kenma. 

Kenma’s reply is soft and somehow that makes it hurt worse. “You live in a house, Shouyou. You can't really give that up.”

“I can't stay, Kenma. I can't do it.”

His heart hurts and he's crying again. He can't do this. He can't. 

Kenma agrees, though, telling Hinata to pack whatever he's going to need. They both live in Tokyo, so it'll be easy for Kenma to get Kuroo over to Hinata’s own house.

~~

Packing is hard. 

He grabs the picture off of his nightstand - the one of him, his mom, and Natsu. It's from a couple years ago, but everything more recent has Kageyama in it. 

He has to go through their dresser, separating things that are actually his from the things Kageyama has more or less relinquished. He doesn't want them, he tells himself, skipping over the shirts and sweaters he loves so much. He doesn't need them. He has more than enough clothes of his own. 

Taking his toothpaste and toothbrush almost makes him cry again. Kageyama’s toothbrush and paste, neatly set as always, look weirdly alone now. 

He doesn't bother with the shampoo. Kenma has Hinata’s extra bottle. It might be watermelon instead of strawberry, but that's okay. Change is good. 

~~

It's cold outside. Hinata is on his front porch step. The door is locked behind him, the lights are off, and now there's only one note on the fridge. 

“Please be happy, Bakageyama!”

There's no tear stains on this one, but it was also his fifteenth try. 

He leaves his key under the potted flower, next to the spare. It looks odd, his blueberry topped key sitting next to the dingy spare. He tells himself not to think about why.

~~

The morning brings a distinct lack of strawberries and blueberries. They’re typical smells, he knows, but they had loved them anyways. Now, though, he just smells watermelon and Kenma’s homemade detergent. It smells herby, almost like rosemary but not quite.

There’s also the ever present smell of cat. This can mostly be blamed on Frank, the orange ball of hatred and evil that Kenma keeps. Well, Frank is nice enough, just not to Hinata. Hinata decides that this is to blame for the way Frank stares at him with obvious disdain when he finally wakes up.

He’s tired and cramping, his face is cold, and Frank looks like Hinata’s face might be his new scratching post.

“Rude cat,” he mumbles.

Frank just swishes his tail, kneeling down nose to nose with him. It takes all of his self control not to shoo the cat, but he manages. There isn’t a pay off to this. Frank hisses anyways, lunging for what Hinata presumes would have been his cheek. He turns his head, though, and Frank’s claws catch his ear and temple instead. They sting, and Hinata is more convinced than ever that Kenma’s cat is a devil possessed monstrosity.

His day is not starting well.

~~

Hinata’s work is actually relatively close to Kenma’s - close enough to walk, in fact. It’s nice. He doesn’t have to worry about begging Kageyama for a ride, or. Well. he can’t do that now. It would more or less be begging for one from Kuroo. 

He takes time during his walk to check his phone. There’s missed calls from Kageyama, but no texts. He’s relieved, but also pretty hurt by this. 

He listens to the voicemails for as long as he can. They get progressively more and more apathetic, and eventually he just can’t do it. He hangs up in the middle of Kageyama asking how long he plans to stay away.

Part of him wants to scream and rage that he’ll stay away as long as he can, and another wants to call him, tell him that he’s sorry and ask if they could just try again.

The love he feels for Kageyama burns in his gut, a savage, gnawing thing, and it threatens to bring him to his knees. He doesn’t let it, though. There’s a floral shop with his name on it waiting for him. Maybe Kageyama helped him start it, and maybe there’s traces of Hinata’s now ex-lover all over it, but it is Hinata’s and he won’t let this keep him away.

He ignores the vague itch in the pit of his stomach, and it’s probably his biggest mistake so far.

~~

Being a florist is sort of ironic, he thinks. He’s staring at the petals floating around in Kenma’s toilet, his hands painfully gripping the sides. They’re bits of spider lilies, he knows, and it’s stupid and symbolic and awful. He snaps a picture and sends it to Kenma, even though the boy is in the other room and probably heard him sicking up. It’s almost an unwritten permission for the other boy to come see what’s wrong. That’s what Kenma takes it as, at least.

He steps in behind Hinata, the slide of the door giving him away. His hands are soft on Hinata’s shoulders; their presence hurts almost as much as the burn at the back of the mouth.

“I’m sorry, Shouyou,” he whispers.

Hinata can only hang his head, vaguely remembering to flush the toilet.

“Spider lilies,” he says, mostly to the air, but also to Kenma. “They’re used as a symbol of abandonment.”

Kenma ruffles his hair gently, and it’s nice, but he can’t help but compare it to the rough, teasing way Kageyama used to mess up his hair. Heis tears resume at this, and it’s not long before he’s sicking up all over again. Kenma just smoothes a hand over his hair. It’s a small comfort, but Hinata will take what he can get.

~~

It takes two weeks for Hinata to finally call Kageyama back. It’s hard, mostly because Kageyama doesn’t even answer until Hinata’s third call.

“Shouyou-”

“Don’t call me that.” He has Hanahaki, he reminds himself. He needs to move on with his life before it literally kills him, and hearing Kageyama say his name won’t help.

Kageyama sounds amenable to that, though, which is a relief.

“Hinata. We need to talk about who’s keeping the house and the stuff.”

Hinata just shakes his head. He knows Kageyama can probably only hear rustling but that’s fine.

“Hinata-”

“Keep it. Just. Keep it. I’ll take my name off the papers if you want. I don’t want to stay there.”

“It was the house you wanted-”

“I wanted it with you,” he says. He can feel a roiling in his stomach, and it’s not good. His eyes are stinging and there’s the blaring thought across his mind that he just can’t do this.

“I wanted it with you,” he whispers again. It’s all he can say now. If he doesn’t leave right now he’s going to be sick all over Kenma’s couch, and he doubts that that would be appreciated. 

The choice is easier than he thought it would be. Hanging up without saying goodbye isn't, though, so he doesn’t bother. His phone is dropped unceremoniously and he bolts for the bathroom, making it just in time.

~~

Hinata, it turns out, has an advanced form of Hanahaki. This is common enough in people whose love has deteriorated on one side, his doctor says. It moves rapidly, but can also be the easiest to overcome.

He doesn’t understand how. He feels like it would be easier to move Mt. Fuji than it would be to forget about Kageyama.

He’s reassured, though, that it can be done. If he ever feels like it can’t, there’s always surgery. 

For some reason, he feels like that would be quitting.

~~

Part of Hinata is surprised that only Kenma, his doctor, and himself know about his problem. Another, though, isn’t. Hinata isn’t one for letting others see himself down, after all. He has a reputation as a literal ray of sunshine, and he won’t let that slip.

When Mrs. Takaki comes in to browse his perennials, he’s bouncing around the store, a permanent grin on his face.

He’s all smiles when Ms. Mayeda comes in to plan bouquets for her niece's wedding. 

He hands off Mr. Fujiwara’s vegetable seeds with that bouncy laugh that always makes the old man scoff at him. 

He’s all smiles and happiness, bouncing from plant to plant, person to person. 

He tells himself that it’s nothing when he’s slow to notice people coming in. He shakes it off when his vision goes fuzzy, says he’s just moved too fast if everything goes black for a moment. 

Here, in his little corner shop, he can pretend his world is okay.

He doesn’t tell Miss Mori why he isn’t carrying spider lilies anymore.

~~

Hinata can’t sleep on the futon any more. The constant vomiting is making him lose weight. Now, his bones are all leading to sharp points that jab into everything, even through sweaters and blankets and futons. Kenma is now letting him share the main bed, and it’s nice; it eases some of his discomfort. 

Kenma is Hinata’s lifeline right now, if he’s being honest. He pays for take out, rents movies and games for Hinata, and keeps him generally occupied. It keeps his mind off of Kageyama, and that’s probably for the best. Probably. It doesn’t so much as slow the spread of the Hanahaki Disease, but he likes to think it eases the pain some. Kind of like the warmth of Kenma’s legs and chest ease his pain in the middle of the night.

He doesn’t think Kenma knows what he’s been doing - curling up with him after the blond has fallen asleep. He doesn’t know how he’d feel about him stealing those touches without his permission. He figures it’s better not thought about. Sort of like it’s better to not think about the bucket Kenma is currently shoving under his face. Another thing to thank him for.

Hinata can’t really complain about those things, though. This, right here - with his face buried in this bucket while he sicks up his very life - this is why Kenma is doing everything he is. It’s a nice thought, for once. Kenma is doing all of this because he cares about him, even if all he does these days is vomit up stupid flowers.

The thought is a soft, gentle thing, even if it does more or less hit him like a bullet train. If he ignores the burning and ripping of the Hanahaki, the only other thing he feels is relaxed.

Soothed. He manages to glance up at Kenma. There’s worry and concern and the whole world in those amber eyes, and he can’t believe he’s never looked at him like this before.

Hinata feels like there’s a balm settling over him, even if he’s sure he’s throwing up more than just plants and blood now. Kenma has a hand on his thigh, soft and gentle, and something in him wants more of that touch. 

There’s a break for a moment, and Hinata doesn’t waste his chance - can’t waste this chance. 

“Please, don’t go,” he whispers.

He’s not sure if Kenma hears his hope, or if it all just sounded raw and weak, but he figures he did. Kenma gives his thigh a soft squeeze. He doesn’t say anything, and that’s okay.

Hinata’s heart feels light, and for the first time in months it doesn’t hurt.

~~

Hinata wakes up to someone's beating heart thudding in his ears. There’s a small hand combing through his hair, and it feels good. It feels nice.

He starts to move, aiming for a look at his friend’s face, but a gentle pressure keeps him down.

“Don’t go, Shouyou. Please.”

Kenma.

It sounds like there’s tears in his eyes, but Hinata abides by his wish. It’s not hard to - Kenma is warm and he’s comfortable here. This feels like safe.

It feels like better.

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, it's a second one! I hope you guys aren't too mad at me for this one, and that it turned out well.   
> Let me know if there's any pairings you'd like to see, or if there's anything you think I could do to make it better!


End file.
